"I spent my life searching for the perfect woman.
I finally found
her but alas, she was searching for the perfect man." Anonymous.
I was a professional matchmaker for several years - trying to help
singles meet others with whom they shared common interests and
complementary personality traits. I met with clients in person and
they were screened to ascertain their real names, addresses,
education, marital status. Most importantly, I tried to help them
determine the type of person they were really seeking and that's where
most of the problems arose.
Even though my clients verbalized that they were happy to be matched
based upon compatibility, this was not true! The major problems I
encountered were:
1) A number of clients were seeking others mainly based on appearance.
I would show each new client photos of existing clients based on their
characteristics as well as their appearance. Unattractive people
sometimes became offended when I matched them with their physical
counterparts. A dowdy sixtyish woman asked me, "Is that what you think
of me?" when I attempted to match her with men in her age and looks
category. Many clients seemed to be totally unaware of how they looked
to others and wanted matches that were highly inappropriate. With
these people, compatibility had no bearing on their matches. They
wanted the best looking people in my book!
2)` Some clients refused to compromise -
even when matched with someone they liked!
I matched two extremely overweight people who liked each other
immediately and went out on several dates. Before their last meeting for
a Sunday movie date, the woman asked to meet at 7:00 pm instead of the
5:30 show. The man became annoyed, broke the date, and immediately ended
their budding relationship. He, who was a part-time telemarketer, told
me he needed time on Sunday evenings "to get ready for his work on
Monday." Because she needed to reschedule their date, he was totally
turned off to her regardless of his prior interest and their
compatibility.
3) Others had a Wish List for their Perfect Person and expected me to
find the person on that list for them.
One divorced man in his late 30's expressed a desire for a woman who had
a specific type of nose. (Really!) A never-married woman in her early
30's with pale blonde hair and very light skin wanted a man with very,
very dark skin (but not an African-American), who earned at minimum
$75,000 per year, was not in Sales, had never been married and had no
children. I had twelve men who matched her description in my data base
but she found something wrong with each one and refused to go out with
any of them. She then complained about my service and was upset because
she 'had not had even one date'. AARRGGHH!!! An Indian medical student
saw her photo and was instantly smitten. They had many things in common
and each was what the other was seeking. He was very excited about
meeting her; however, before they met, he wanted a guarantee of a
successful relationship which I of course could not give him. They never
met and as far as I know, both are still single and searching.....
My advice: Don't shoot yourself in the foot! If you are meeting a lot of
people and just can't seem to connect, ask yourself if you really want a
relationship. Are you ready and willing to be close with another person?
If you constantly find fault with others, ask yourself these questions
and be a bit more tolerant. Don't expect to find your perfect person
because he or she does not exist. Be happy if you find Ms. or Mr.
almost-perfect. Good luck!
To submit your
own article, please email it as a text attachment to: webmaster@lovelinksplus.com
We do not compensate authors for being published at lovelinksplus.com but we
will provide a link back to your website and you will maintain the copyright
to your submitted article. Email us for further details. Not all submissions
will be published.
