When we were kids,
we were supposed to learn “The Facts of Life”, but the truth is that
without “The Facts Of Pick-Up”, there isn’t much point in knowing the
facts of life.
Like anything else, power can be used for good or evil. I never got into
this field so that jerks can manipulate innocent women, I got into this
field to help protect good guys from getting turned into roadkill
everytime they approached a woman they were attracted to. More than
that, to actually turn these guys into attractive forces, so that women
GENUINELY DESIRED THEM.
Recently, I’ve read a few really tough emails of guys who have given
just about everything they have mentally, physically, emotionally, or
financially, to some woman who either broke up with the guy or who could
care less about the guy. There are few places emotionally tougher to be
coming from than that.
So, what I would like to do in this newsletter are present some HARD
CORE, PRACTICAL tips, HARD CORE TRUTHS that guys seriously NEED to know.
Hopefully this will prevent some guys from suffering the agony these
other guys have gone through, and hopefully it will help those guys who
are in rough situations to immediately improve their situation. Without
these tips as your BARE MINIMUM STANDARD, you cannot have A HOPE IN HELL
of picking up the woman of your choice.
As kids, we are supposed to learn “The Facts of Life”, but the truth is
that without “The Facts Of Pick-Up”, there isn’t much POINT in knowing
the facts of life.
I present here seven CARDINAL FACTS of pickup:
Cardinal Pick-Up Fact One:
Women are UNIVERSALLY REPELLED by guys who behave as if they are
undesirable.
This is huge.
Even if a guy THINKS HE IS UNDESIRABLE, he must DO EVERYTHING IN HIS
POWER not to show it, and not to give in to it.
You have to remember that women want a man they feel is SUPERIOR TO
THEM, and this has deep roots in our culture, and has sexual undertones
as well, so if you behave as if you are in any way somehow undeserving
of them, you truly have destroyed your own chances.
Have you ever heard the saying:
“I have seen the enemy, and he is me”?
Never has this been truer than when it comes to being successful with
women. Guys are always worrying about the other guy who they think might
be better than them, when in reality THAT SPECIFIC FEAR IN ITSELF is the
problem.
Fear may not be cool, but GIVING IN to that fear is the REAL CARDINAL
SIN.
Cardinal Pick-Up Fact Two:
Any type of OBSESSING over a girl who ISN‘T showing any interest in you
will be INSTANTLY interpreted emotionally by her as you being
UNDESIRABLE.
This obsessing is a HUGE mistake that new guys make, they get caught up
on one woman, and they keep pouring more and more energy into her, even
though she is not interested, (usually because it’s clear he feels she
is superior To him, and thus she can’t feel attracted to him no matter
what, even if she initially may have felt some attraction for him).
The more energy they pour in, without her reciprocating, simply becomes
more evidence for her that in fact he is undesirable.
Whenever I hear about guys telling me about “there’s this one girl I’ve
known for three weeks/months/years/decades, and I’ve been talking to
her, and asking her out, and blah blah blah she is not interested, what
should I do now?” The answer is FORGET HER, and move on to other women
because until you do, you will never get the objective distance to
realize all the things you are doing wrong, including making yourself
cheap by being there for nothing and being there for abuse all the time.
Cardinal Pick-Up
Fact Three:
LOOKS ARE NOT THE LIMITING FACTOR THAT MOST GUYS THINK THEY ARE.
You are not undesirable just because your looks are not something out of
a fashion magazine.
Looks COUNT, and I teach guys how to make themselves look their best
from a “cool” standpoint, and women don’t usually tolerate a guy who
clearly is not doing his best within reason, but looks are not at all
the obstacle most guys think.
In fact, I’ve had PLENTY of really good looking clients in my bootcamps,
that even I used to get surprised that these good looking dudes weren’t
being jumped on by women.
Good looks will easily open the door with many women, but if a guy
doesn’t have the understanding of the other factors involved in sexual
and social conditioning for women, as well as how to maintain
attraction, he will encounter resistance.
Think of looks as simply ONE POWERFUL form of value, but not more
powerful than the overall value of being a TRULY COOL GUY WHO IS ALWAYS
IN CONTROL OF ANY SITUATION HE IS IN AND WHO HAS A DYNAMIC PERSONALITY.
Of course, this whole idea of what COOL really is, is itself a huge
topic, (it has to do with projecting value, sexuality, and showing that
you understand women and a whole lot more) but suffice to say that looks
are definitely NOT everything.
This one took some time, and some “seeing is believing” for me to
believe myself. Your value is not limited to your looks.
Cardinal Pick-Up
Fact Four:
Being TOO SERIOUS usually projects LACK OF VALUE.
Guys that approach girls and start chatting in too serious a manner are
projecting lack of value, lack of desirability, and a lack of
understanding of women.
It’s simple:
The girl thinks to herself, “This guy is obviously interested in me, or
why would he be talking to me. Now, he’s being really serious so I guess
this is a serious thing to him, he probably hasn’t really had beautiful
women talk to him before, so he’s not desirable, or, he doesn’t feel
comfortable with women, because he’s undesirable.”
Or, a woman will feel that since the guy is so serious, “he obviously
isn’t any fun to be with, and no woman would want that, so obviously he
doesn’t get any women. So obviously he is on the low value end of
things, and I don’t want an undesirable guy.”
Cardinal Pick-Up Fact Five:
You have to make the RIGHT impact IMMEDIATELY or you will, by DEFAULT,
make the WRONG impact.
It’s important to understand that when you are meeting a woman in a
pick-up situation, meaning not in a situation where everyone knows each
other, I am referring to classic pick up situations where you have to
create the attraction fast or the moment will pass you by, EVERY SECOND
COUNTS, and everything you do counts, because her EMOTIONS are feeling
you out on whatever data you have presented her with AT THIS MOMENT.
You don’t have TOMORROW to fix it up. Think about the first few minutes
of a movie:
We are introduced to the character quickly, the artist behind the movie
has designed the film to QUICKLY make the audience understand and relate
and LIKE the main character. The film maker knows that the movie is only
TWO HOURS to tell the most important story of the character’s ENTIRE
life, and so he better get STRAIGHT to the most EMOTIONALLY COMPELLING
stuff.
He can’t afford to CONFUSE the audience when it comes to making it clear
why the hero is COOL and LIKEABLE. If we don’t like the hero, then NONE
of the story will work. So in usually just about 3 or 4 minutes, we
already are presented with bits about the main character that make us
LIKE him. So TONS OF WORK goes into CHOOSING EXACTLY WHAT TO SHOW THE
AUDIENCE about the hero in the first few minutes.
Similarly, you don’t want to CONFUSE a woman who you only have a few
minutes to convey that you have a compelling identity.
You must CHOOSE your actions, your words, EVERYTHING YOU DO, with
BRILLIANCE if you want to do it RIGHT, if you want to make IMPACT.
If you throw away those first few moments and trigger red flags, such as
being boring, being creepy, conveying that you have low esteem, making
her feel slutty or cheap, or any other cardinal sins, it’s pretty much
OVER unless you are really damn good at damage control, and chances are
if you are real good at damage control, you are smart enough about this
game to not make those mistakes in the first place, although this can
occasionally happen to even the best of guys.
The reason why it’s OVER if you screw up early on, is that HER EMOTIONAL
REACTION COMES QUICK, IT COMES EARLY, BASED ON THE DATA YOU PRESENTED
HER WITH THROUGH ALL YOUR BEHAVIORS AND CUES.
And as more time goes by, this emotional conclusion only becomes more
solidified.
In the same way that if a movie fails to capture my interest in the main
character early on, it’s going to be really tough to get me to care
about the character later on, because I’ve already crystallized my
feelings about the character.
Again, experience with this can help you do damage control, but the best
damage control is having no damage in the first place.
Cardinal Pick-Up Fact Six:
It will almost ALWAYS be up to the MAN to take things to the “next
level”, so don’t EVER expect a woman to do this for you.
I’ve seen many guys who have gained the attraction of a woman they have
approached and then the guy ejects out of the situation because he’s not
sure what to do next.
There is this “hope” that the woman will meet him “half-way” and start
to lead the situation as well.
This simply is not the way it will happen for reasons of social
conditioning as well as other reasons beyond the scope of this article.
Guys have to get used to the fact that it’s up to the MAN to make things
happen for a large part of the initial “mating sequence”. Which leads me
to:
Cardinal Pick-Up Fact Seven:
Women are often simply playing a ROLE when they play “HARD TO GET” or
when they give you other challenging reactions.
Of course, it should be obvious that I’m NOT saying to physically
encroach on a woman who says no, or to stick around when a woman is
clearly NOT interested.
However, guys often think the game is OVER when a woman doesn’t
immediately burst out in smiles and hugs in response to their approach.
This type of reaction comes from not understanding female psychology and
the effects of social conditioning on women. If guys truly understood
this, you would hear a lot less complaints about women being “b*&^hes”
or “impossible to understand”.
Listen, women enjoy playing a little hard to get the same you enjoy
being a little aggressive. It’s conditioning, we are conditioned to feel
that these are our roles, we feel we are being “natural” when we do
this, even if it’s not natural.
A woman often gets more turned ON when she is hard to get, and the guy
KNOWS how to get around her hard to get tactics.
It’s like the mating dance has begun, and she requires a certain
sequence of events to happen.
Which is not to say that you are supposed to be all predictable in
everything you do, but there is a DEFINITE pattern to the mating ritual,
for sure. And for related reasons, it’s important that YOU make the
pattern happen, because if SHE feels that SHE has to make it happen,
then you are ALREADY OUT OF THE RUNNING BY DEFAULT, because YOU KNOWING
HOW TO MAKE IT HAPPEN is part of what she has been conditioned is YOUR
sexual role.
So although I find that usually women are receptive at the first
approach, even if they aren’t, it’s not necessarily time to pack your
bags and go. You have to have persistence while at the same time not
conveying the slightest ounce of neediness or cluelessness, you have to
still maintain the playful vibe, because in fact THIS IS ALL PART OF THE
“DANCE”.
And if you would like to get the FULL PICTURE, to learn EXACTLY how to
go about approaching women to take things from that very first moment
all the way to the bedroom and beyond, and even where to find the RIGHT
kinds of women for YOU, as well as how to handle and even eradicate the
kind of ridiculous “tests” that even GOOD women tend to throw your way,
then I seriously suggest you sign up for my Live Bootcamp or Workshop
program where you will “work it” in the real world. These programs are
three days and three nights of MASSIVE learning and skill growth, where
we won’t stop until YOU have achieved YOUR goals.
http://thedatingwizard.com/bootcamp/
If you haven’t yet downloaded my eBook, The Dating Wizard: Secrets
to Success with Women, then do it IMMEDIATELY. This book is NOT like
other books, it’s about SOLVING THE ROOT CAUSE of the problem, which has
less to do with learning to be funny, and far more to do with reclaiming
your masculinity and your power. It’s about how to take ACTION with
women, from A to Z, in the way that women deep down WISH you would, but
simply can’t admit because of the anti-masculine crusade.
Michael W, better known as The Dating Wizard, is a dating and
relationship consultant for men, as well as a frequent guest on radio
and television talk shows. Michael has spent over four years studying
the specific male behaviors that trigger attraction in women. His
findings are based on both his real life observations of men who are
successful with women, as well as his research on evolutionary
psychology and its applications to sexual attraction.
To find out all about Michael, his book, and his consultation services,
check out
www.TheDatingWizard.com or call 416 630 9966.
