The WINNER in
this game called ATTRACTION is the guy who can QUENCH a woman’s thirsty
emotional receptors with a SEA of INTOXICATING EMOTIONS.
And though these emotions come in an endless variety of shades and
mixtures and tones, the ONE THING THAT’S CRITICAL to understand is that
all these emotions resonate back to POWER and a sense of WONDER, where
she can get LOST in the rush of sensory overload.
In order to pull this off, which is a huge skill in itself, the
PREREQUISITE skill is the ability to get into the right state of mind.
Think of being in the right state as KINDERGARTEN. It’s required before
you can get into grade ONE.
It makes a huge difference if you are in the right state. This is why it
makes no sense to go after women you are not even interested in. I mean,
if you are doing something you don’t care about, what kind of state can
you possibly be in? At best, you are indifferent. Which might seem like
a kind of poor man’s confidence, but it really is pathetic and sucky
once you know what it feels like to be on the other
side of the universe.
I have almost NEVER gone after women that I was not seriously excited
by, whether it was their looks or their personality, and usually it was
the combo, which I could size up pretty damn fast.
Let me talk a bit about getting INTO state.
This has a lot to do with how you are living your entire LIFE, because,
as I’ve said before:
YOU ARE WHAT YOU THINK AND DO.
So if you are constantly behaving in ways that are namby pamby, boring,
or pathetic, or if you are whiny and not challenging yourself, and not
focused on the right thoughts, you will feel pretty crummy most of the
time.
But let’s say you are just starting out and the IDEA OF totally changing
your WHOLE EMOTIONAL LIFE at once seems too much to begin with. It
really is not such a big deal, but let’s say for whatever reason it
seems like too big of a deal. So guess what? Here’s a great solution:
Start with ONE HOUR, and totally UNLEASH YOUR STRONGEST HEALTHY EMOTIONS
and exercise those emotions in that one hour.
For that one hour, turn off the crappy whiny songs on the radio or cd or
mp3, turn off the bullshit angry music that promotes crime, turn on the
stuff that is empowering and is sung by someone in an excellent state.
The world might seem screwed up, but the truth is there are good people
and good women out there, and you will be SHIELDED out by them if they
sense you are in the wrong state. And thank goodness for that, or they
would be ruined by all the screwed up people out there.
One hour, that’s it. Start that this second.
I just gave you one powerful example in the form of the music you listen
to. You could apply this principle in a million other ways, from the way
you conduct yourself and your thoughts at work, at the gym, in your free
time, the books you read, the people you hang out with, the activities
you do, the goals you have, the way you stand up for what you believe
in, the way you make sure not to judge people too quickly and make sure
to really get the full truth, comparing both sides of the story to
discover who’s telling the truth, etc.
Okay, before I move on to talk a bit about the “big boy’s” game, which
goes way beyond being in the right emotional state, let me say that
being in state is not a separate part of “the game”, but rather it
directly flows into ALL other parts of the game.
So many guys make the mistake of thinking of parts of the game in
isolation. It doesn’t work that way, it all comes TOGETHER.
It’s like a guy trying to pack on mass naturally without steroids who
says, “I ate tuna today”, thinking that is a lot of protein, not
realizing that it takes about 7 times that quantity of protein to build
muscle, spaced out evenly over 16 hours. And it takes proper rest, and
it takes the right amount of carbs and fats. And of course the right
kind of training. So when a guy thinks he’s the master and has nothing
to learn because he “teased that girl”, while in fact his state is
messed up, his clothing is horrifyingly boring, and his beliefs are all
wrong, and he doesn’t even try to progress the interaction anywhere or
build a meaningful connection or escalate any physical contact, and he
doesn’t make an effort to strike her emotional chords in any unique and
powerful way, he obviously doesn’t understand that this skill is about a
whole bunch of things happening at once.
It’s important not to feel overwhelmed by the fact there is more than
one thing to learn. The trick is not to feel like you have to be PERFECT
at this moment, and instead to see PROGRESS and see yourself as an ever
developing human being. And by the way, even a little progress is enough
to make some serious impact, because it’s all relative since it’s rare
for any guy to actually seriously work on this area of himself at all.
But hey, I like to think that you want to be more than just good, and
would rather be great.
Personally, I consider myself only at about 70% of my full capacity to
understand and exercise my skill in this area, there are so many more
things I want to try and experiment with and learn. This makes things
EXCITING. Truly, getting there is half the fun, and your own development
will be exciting for you as well.
The way to learn is to throw out your ego. I don’t believe in “moves” or
“methods” or “gurus”. To me, there is only UNDERSTANDING THE VAST OCEANS
OF HUMAN EMOTION, and applying that IN REAL LIFE to see what works and
what doesn’t. I do take pride, though, in being THE one who has taken
this APPROACH to the entire field.
EMOTIONS are so powerful because women (and all humans) are ADDICTED to
the feelings they get from emotions, even bad ones unfortunately, which
is why it’s so important to FORCE yourself out of negative emotions
again and again and avoid the triggers of those emotions. You must force
yourself into a different state, for example by doing exercise and
letting the endorphins flow naturally. Once you get into a new pattern,
you then become addicted to feeling the awesome emotions and you won’t
want to go back.
When you make a woman feel emotions, she will wake up, no matter what
the hell she is doing at the moment. It doesn’t MATTER how bored or
serious or angry she seems, it’s YOUR JOB to change that emotion if you
want to get her to go from stranger to attracted to you. And of course,
if you want to keep up any relationship, you have to keep on doing this,
and if she’s smart she’ll do the same for you. (that’s what appreciation
is, and also if you are both high self esteem, you both won’t be in bad
moods too often in the first place).
Let’s take the example of the emotion of feeling INTRIGUE, from
something like the SUPERNATURAL.
WOMEN LOVE THIS STUFF.
If you meet a woman in any situation, and you could throw a really cool
supernatural angle on it, you’ve got yourself a distinction from almost
all other guys.
So for example, let’s say you are both at a light, crossing the street,
and let’s say the light is taking a long time, you could make a cocky
comment with a splice of intrigue by having this James Bond look on your
face and saying, “you know, I think this light is an omen”, and she’ll
say “why”, and then you can tease her that it’s forcing you to stand
near HER of all people for so long. She’ll most likely chuckle, and see
your confidence, but the thing is that this opens up a gateway to
talking about supernatural things, and you can go into a story about how
your aunt or uncle or yourself were in whatever freaky story, i.e. how
you missed a plane, and thanks to missing that plane, you or someone you
know had to stay home and that was the last weekend he or she or you had
to see your great grandma, or thanks to staying behind, he or she or
someone ended up meeting the love of their life, etc. Whatever it is,
I’m sure something true and intriguing has really happened to you or
someone you know.
Now, compare that with some dude who thinks he’s so cool because he said
“this damn light takes so long”. And you know what? Even THAT might
work, but it obviously reveals way less cool things about you and
obviously touches way less emotional receptors on her brain.
She has to be FEELING it.
Do NOT underestimate the power of this stuff when done WELL. And the
critical thing to realize is that this stuff should NOT BE DONE to
impress a woman, but it must become integrated into your life as person
who is bathing in cool sensory impact himself. We all have this stuff
inside of us, it’s just a matter of exercising it and using it just like
when a muscle is used on a regular basis and grows stronger.
Why does something like the supernatural have such emotional power?
Because our emotional mind registers it as POWER, a way to go BEYOND any
limitations.
We feel as if we are connected to something OMNIPOTENT. What can feel
greater than that?
NOTHING.
Religion, for example works on this principle, but so does ANY
individual or group that makes people feel MORE THAN HUMAN by getting
them to TRANSCEND their emotions to a state where they no longer feel
limited but feel INFINITELY POWERFUL.
Ever feel empowered by a SONG?
Well, it’s the same thing happening.
This is probably also why so many great musicians and artists can get so
lost themselves in their own creations that they lose touch with logic
and do a lot of harm to their own bodies because logic is powerless in
the face of the massive overwhelming emotions they have created.
Which is why these emotions can achieve both so much good
and also so much bad, depending on what direction they take.
And which is why SPARKING THESE EMOTIONS makes you COMPELLING to women.
Attraction is about FEELING superiority, power, excellence. So this
intrigue, supernatural stuff feels intoxicating, and if you can make it
feel REAL to her, especially if you can make it a part of you, you will
have a hold on a woman and probably any person in fact.
This is why performers UNIVERSALLY use this to enhance their appeal.
They are LARGER than life. A magician seems to defy the laws of physical
science. An actor seems larger than life because of his or her roles in
INCREDIBLE STORIES of persons overcoming great obstacles, stories that
have been rendered with such brilliant creativity that they FEEL REAL.
And a singer, well clearly a great singer musician takes people on an
emotional journey to places people have never been, or places
emotionally that they have long sought to return to. It’s a shame there
are so few good new musicians now that can really take people on these
journeys.
And even romantic songs can be insanely powerful, if they are done from
a point of view of KNOWING THAT THEY THEMSELVES HAVE VALUE AND FROM A
STANDPOINT OF POWERFUL CONFIDENCE. A standpoint of BELIEF in their own
value that implicitly says they are GIVING VALUE to the other person by
being with them.
So even in THESE cases, it STILL boils down to POWER and excellence and
superiority. Brilliantly conveyed by the use of the insanely powerful
human MIND.
It’s a shame that there are so few of those songs done right today with
artistic finesse and original melodies. But let’s say for example Def
Leppard’s “Put Some Sugar On Me” or even Anne Murray’s “Now and
Forever”.
Remember, emotions are TRUER in our minds than the most clearly proven
logical facts.
How about the emotion of LAUGHTER?
In its own way, it also feels insanely good and powerful. Because when
you are REALLY LAUGHING, you are feeling as if EVERYTHING is OKAY.
Survival is intact.
In fact, even if you are laughing only out NERVOUS laughter, you are
doing this to make someone ELSE feel that all is okay. And you are doing
this because it’s important to YOU to make sure the other person is
feeling good. So that’s why folks laugh at the boss’s bad jokes. ‘Cuz
even though the jokes are bad, the people are so happy that the boss is
in a good mood, so everyone is happy and thus laughter is not far away.
The boss, because of his good mood, is making everyone else happy, and
thus suddenly his jokes at the moment seem funny. It’s the state of mind
of SECURITY TO SURVIVAL that makes everyone feel good and THAT makes
them laugh.
Of course, that is a very weak form of laughter, but still, it’s DNA is
still about a person feeling survival is being bolstered.
Now, on that note, a guy that does NOT laugh at the boss’ bad joke may
be signaling that he is SUPERIOR to the boss and doesn’t NEED the boss,
so now suddenly the boss is no longer a source of survival, so the
employee’s brain doesn’t feel good about the bad joke since there is no
gain for him in terms of survival anyway since he doesn’t need the boss.
This sometimes leads to getting respect and sometimes to getting fired
because now the boss feels that HIS survival is threatened.
The MAIN POINT is that laughter also occurs from a feeling of enhanced
survival. So for example, when a great comedian makes light of things
that everyone is scared shitless of, he helps people DEAL with these
issues. Or when YOU are able to EFFECTIVELY poke fun at reality when
with a woman, she feels SECURE with you. After all, the way you have
reframed reality is that it’s all a joke and it’s all in your hand, it’s
nothing, no big deal, so she LAUGHS.
And also when you are able to make her laugh by teasing HER properly,
you are showing that SHE is not a source of fear for you, like she is
for most men. A lot of guys screw this up by going too far and just
being mean, or just being dorky. Being mean doesn’t make her feel you
are not afraid of her, it makes her feel you are a creep with issues.
Being just dorky doesn’t make her feel you are not afraid of her, it
makes her feel you are a dork.
On this note, by the way, I should mention that this FINE LINE between
being in a playful good mood while STILL BEING A MAN, and being
interesting while still NOT being the guy trying to entertain her is
probably one of the tougher challenges for most guys. Smoothing this
stuff out comes from practice. What happens to a lot of guys is that as
they start to get results, they get so encouraged that they want to KEEP
ON MAKING HER LAUGH and KEEP ON TELLING MORE COOL STORIES, etc etc,
because as guys who have been through hell with women, (I haven’t
forgotten what that’s like) all we can think is SHE LIKES IT!!!! So the
first instinct when you’re still starting out is to POUR IT ON THICK,
trying as hard as possible to NOT LET HER DOWN.
The problem with this is that you LOSE the edge that made you cool in
the first place! You end up GIVING THE FRAME over to HER, it becomes all
about getting her to react in the way you want, you care TOO MUCH about
her staying happy, and you start to lose your OWN identity and you stop
being natural without even realizing it. It’s the first step toward
becoming submissive and the end of the line. You have to STOP yourself
if you catch this happening.
You have to know when to slow down, which is, in a very tight nutshell,
AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
Tight game is LEAN game, because the less you do and the more SHE does,
the cooler you will seem.
Of course though, in the first part of the interaction especially, you
must BLAST OPEN the gates and not hold back.
And of course I would be missing a huge emotion if I skipped out the
emotion of INSANE SEXUAL DESIRE.
The thing to remember is that what unlocks the greatest sexual pleasure
is when both people enjoy GIVING each other pleasure as well as getting
it. This creates an awesome endless cycle of super hot times for both of
you.
And it sure helps to feel connected to the other person if you are going
to enjoy and want to give as much as you get.
So even this “raw sex” thing is actually not as “raw” as one might
think.
For a woman to truly let go with you, she needs to feel absolute trust
in you, and she has to be attracted of course as well. But the
connecting thing and having some “real convo” where you truly discover
things you are interested in about each other is overlooked by so many
guys who are only focused on the “bottom line” so to speak, and they cut
themselves short by doing this.
This connecting is so important. It’s the OTHER side to attraction. It’s
about making her feel that YOU seriously are into HER, about making HER
feel special. This is where truly good guys have an edge, since they
naturally see the good in others and see what others may not notice or
appreciate. The thing though is that in order to be able to do this
properly, you have to not be fazed by her beauty, otherwise you will
think everything she does is awesome, which is kind of pathetic.
However, once you have THIS established, THEN when you get really hot
and sweaty with a woman you are crazy about, THEN it’s time to really
let loose and be the wild beast you know you can be, because THEN she
will want it exactly that way, and she will want it BAD.
Those are truly the sweetest times of all.
A woman should be so lucky to meet such an awesome guy who knows all
this stuff and understands it deeply.
It’s important to be able to SENSE your own sexual state of mind, to an
extent, throughout the entire interaction because it keeps you on track
that this IS after all a sexual interaction, even if it first takes
place in the form of words and gestures and teasing and various other
forms of physical contact aside from sex. So you don’t end up doing
stupid things that look dorky, feminine, submissive, or “friend” like.
And by you behaving this way, she will feel the sexual dimension to the
interaction.
And since human beings are very “state catchy” she will start to enter
this mood and be receptive to your pick up if you do the rest of the
pick up right.
You have to NOT LET UP your state of mind (both sexual and also your
beliefs about yourself and your worth) at any time, even if she tests
you on it, in fact ESPECIALLY if she tests you on it, because human
beings are all about ACCEPTING whichever state of mind is EASIEST to
accept. And if you HOLD your own frame of the interaction as being the
ONLY one, the correct one, the DOMINANT one, she will feel that it makes
SENSE. If you SLIDE and let your frame crumble, HER FRAME will take over
and suddenly you will be the creepy guy trying to pick her up. But if
you KEEP the frame, you are suddenly the sexy guy she’s been dreaming
about.
That means you LEAD the way, at all times, and not WAIT for her to show
you the way, or for her to give you approval. At the same time, you have
to have a proper sense of timing and take action at the right moment
when it’s best, or you CREATE the right moment to make it the best.
Finally, I want to say that all this stuff you learn here is for your
PERSONAL goals. Don’t feel that you have to impress anybody but
yourself. I used to be all pissed at the world and wanted to stack up
numbers, because I figured there were no good women left on earth so
quantity was the only possible alternative. Well, turns out I was wrong,
I’ve met a few really good women, not many mind you, but a few, who have
incredible values, and even recently one woman who truly knows the most
important thing in life- to appreciate what you have. I share this info
with you only because I want to make it clear that not every woman is
some materialistic, juvenile, status-seeking basket case. If you want to
meet a quality woman, it’s important that you don’t let negative beliefs
shield her out.
In this newsletter, I’ve touched on some incredibly crucial points to
both your IMMEDIATE and also your LONG TERM success with women. And as
powerful as this stuff is, it really is just the start of an awesome
journey, just a glimpse if you will, into a whole other universe. I
would like to be the one who takes you there, personally.
If you would like to TRULY take your success to a level that most people
don’t even know EXISTS, I have two recommendations:
First, if you haven’t already done so, then you owe it to yourself to
IMMEDIATELY download my eBook, The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success
with Women.
This book is where it all starts. It’s the DNA for creating the deepest
levels of attraction and connection with women. Inside, you’ll learn THE
SPECIFICS on exactly how to pick up a woman, get physical, and sustain a
woman’s attraction to you.
Download it now at: http://thedatingwizard.com/the_dating_wizard.htm
And if you would like to get the FULL PICTURE, to learn EXACTLY how to
go about approaching women to take things from that very first moment
all the way to the bedroom and beyond, and even where to find the RIGHT
kinds of women for YOU, as well as how to handle and even eradicate the
kind of ridiculous “tests” that even GOOD women tend to throw your way,
then I seriously suggest you sign up for my Live Bootcamp or Workshop
program where you will “work it” in the real world. These programs are
three days and three nights of MASSIVE learning and skill growth, where
we won’t stop until YOU have achieved YOUR goals.
http://thedatingwizard.com/bootcamp/
Michael W, better known as The Dating Wizard, is a dating and
relationship consultant for men, as well as a frequent guest on radio
and television talk shows. Michael has spent over four years studying
the specific male behaviors that trigger attraction in women. His
findings are based on both his real life observations of men who are
successful with women, as well as his research on evolutionary
psychology and its applications to sexual attraction.
To find out all about Michael, his book, and his consultation services,
check out
www.TheDatingWizard.com or call 416 630 9966.
