This article
contains information critical to BOTH creating attraction AND to
understanding the REAL dynamics involved in keeping a long term
relationship AMAZING.
As The Dating Wizard, it’s my job to not only tell you about PICK UP,
but to tell you about critical areas of the BIG PICTURE of attraction,
sex, bonding, and all kinds of other related issues. This includes an
understanding of the current SOCIAL FORCES that DIRECTLY affect ALL this
stuff.
Do you know what NO ONE can compete with?
The coolest parts of your SELF.
There is this MYTH that if you could just COPY the exact same things
someone else is doing who is getting great results with women, you will
get that same result.
You cannot gain your TRUE POTENTIAL as a CLONE.
Listen, the GREATEST THING you can do to be awesome with women is to be
DIFFERENT from EVERYONE ELSE!!!!
Isn’t that GREAT NEWS????
I know I would HATE having to be someone ELSE!
What I am most proud of is the fact that I have taught thousands of guys
how to develop THEMSELVES in their own UNIQUE way by using the INSIGHTS
I have shared with them.
The LAST thing you want to do is MODEL a guy’s SPECIFIC actions!!!!
Especially when THAT guy himself probably just copied someone ELSE’S
motions. That would be like trying to become an artist by photocopying a
painting that ITSELF was a blurry photocopy of a painting!
What you want far MORE is to understand WHY someone who is getting
results with women is getting those results, so that you can ADJUST THE
PRINCIPLE to yourSELF. No two people are the same.
When it comes to your own life, certainly with women, you want to be an
ORIGINAL. It’s easy to be a hack,but hacks will never truly make the
greatest impact.
They will never have the edge that comes from the extra energy and
unique traits unleashed by developing the parts of themSELVES that they
love.
Just look at popular culture, for every original artist, a bunch of
others attempt to clone the formula, and then they are totally forgotten
because they don’t understand that it was originality that made the guy
popular in the first place. The originals keep on going and actually
keep on developing in new ways, and because they are authentically
inspired, it comes through in their artistic CREATIVE expression, and of
course that means EMOTIONAL IMPACT on their audience.
This is the reason I spend far more time getting into how the MIND
works, including things like attraction, rather than trying to tell a
guy how to imitate a line or a movement. Understanding the way things
work psychologically helps you apply YOURSELF to ANY situation you
encounter with women.
“TECHNIQUES”, in the generic sense, don’t matter.
What matters is DEVELOPING A COMPELLING PERSONALITY and gaining INSIGHT
into the way our minds work. And if you ever plan on having something
work with a good woman LONG TERM, you better have INTEGRITY too. Oh,
yeah, that’s a BIG one.
Once you have this, the last block is SHYNESS, which is actually not
that tough to overcome, it’s just DOING the thing that makes you shy,
over and over till you stop feeling weird about it. This is how shy
actors still can give riveting performances. They practiced this
dimension of themselves, and so can you.
All the power that you could possibly have with women flows from WHO YOU
ARE, not from a technique.
It’s about UNLEASHING and DEVELOPING the parts of your personality that
YOU DIDN’T EVEN KNOW EXISTED.
Let me give you an example from a great letter I recently received:
***LETTER FROM A READER OF THE EBOOK***
Great information, I thank you for providing it.
One question about influencing women:
Lets say you wanted to do something with your woman acquaintance, like
go somewhere, or do something together, whatever.
So, since you are 'the man', you decide what you want to do and then
call the shots to her (e.g. Hey Babe, let's go skiing this weekend)
Now, what is 'the man' course of action if she resists or is hesitant?
It is kind a quandary because I know on the one hand you definitely
should not appear to be begging her ( Oh come on, please, you will have
fun), but on the other hand you don't want to just let it go since you
are in charge and should be deciding the weekend plans.
What is the best course of action in a situation like this?
Thanks Bro,
Gerald T. in Vancouver
*** Michael W, The Dating Wizard Replies***
Good question, I think a lot of guys wonder about this stuff. The answer
is to PREVENT the problem to begin with by BEING the kind of guy that
she WILL say yes to 99 percent of the time.
I used to wonder about these kinds of situation all the time, so I
totally know what you are talking about. For example, I used to want to
know also when to advance for the kiss, I wanted to know HOW to know
that she is interested in me, etc.
But the truth is, THESE KINDS OF QUESTIONS themselves are traces of
DOUBT and also of being too needy for her answer. It comes from feeling
that her answer somehow affects who we are, that it affects our
self-identity.
This is why I keep coming back to IDENTITY. If your IDENTITY is such
that you truly are bouncing off the walls in good spirits regardless,
you have learned that your identity is INDEPENDENT of other’s approval.
Yes, even a woman’s approval.
Which doesn’t mean you are a jerk or that you don’t enjoy having that
connection with a woman where you are both in sync.
Also, your THOUGHTS on these issues has to change.
So for example, with practice controlling your thoughts, you feel, you
actually just KNOW that she WILL want to kiss you and then when you have
the moment, i.e. you’re both sitting down and she is leaning into you as
you as you talk, you go for it.
Yeah, kisses were meant to be stolen, in a good sense, for sure.
So back to the skiing example, or any other weekend activity, it’s the
same thing.
Once you make the LEAP to the other side of this emotional universe, you
suddenly get a whole new perspective on all these supposedly “technique”
oriented issues and you realize the issue isn’t NEARLY what you thought
it was.
So for example, by being THE MAN, you are decisive, fun, you have
integrity and she has trust in you, you are exciting, you regularly lead
the way, you never supplicate, you have fun things to do, you have
exciting goals, etc, she then WILL say yes to your plans 99 percent of
the time.
And you HAVE TO TOTALLY BE COMMITTED to this way of being.
Now, in the rare times that she might not want to go, instead of even
looking at it as resistance, which gives you the inner feeling that she
does not want to go with you, I would DEFINITELY NOT take it as sign of
“RESISTANCE”, or as a problem or make a big deal of it.
I would probably first joke around, so for the skiing situation if she
didn’t seem thrilled about going, I might tease her that she’s afraid of
the cold or that I won’t make fun of her for sucking at it and skiing
downhill mostly on her bum instead of the skis. And I might playfully
make references to the cozy lodges and the night time activities and how
I will be expecting a full body massage after all that skiing.
By you REALLY FEELING THE JOY of the activity, she will likely fall into
the same frame. You are not even FEELING bad, except maybe that she is
going to be missing out.
Notice by the way this is not so much about YOU CONQUERING her frame,
it’s just you GENUINELY BEING IN YOUR FRAME of enjoying skiing.
The bottom line is that you have to KNOW it’s going to be a good time,
and if you FEEL it in your bones, and you have been consistent in being
the man, then she will feel it too, so if she doesn’t want to go, she
should just be upfront and direct and say what the problem is. If it’s
really something legit, like she’s afraid of looking like a dumbass
because she’s never gone skiing before, you can reassure her it’s going
to be okay and you’ll even show her. And if she really hates skiing,
well then that’s a different matter and it wouldn’t be fair to get her
to go just because. So you work out a way for things to be cool with
both of you, like you go skiing with some pals, and she does things with
her friends that you might not be into sometimes.
Definitely don’t INSIST on her going, that’s the kind of “alpha” hogwash
that is clone style thinking.
The ultimate “alpha” is the guy who doesn’t even HAVE a confrontation
because he knows that the woman is NUTS about him and she really isn’t
there to screw him up. And he acts accordingly. Of course, I am assuming
that the guy has also screened properly for the right woman in the first
place. But then, as I point out in my book, THE MAN is doing this from
the get go, determining her values, as opposed to just being obsessed
with getting laid like the typical chumps and clones are.
IT’S ALL ABOUT EMOTIONS, not about techniques. If a “technique” is
applied, and you keep on using it, and everyone else is using it, I can
GUARANTEE you that in time it will be EMOTIONALLY MEANINGLESS to any
woman.
Time to break another myth:
RELATIONSHIPS GET STRONGER AND MORE EXCITING WITH TIME IF YOU HAVE THE
KNOW-HOW
There is so little useful information out there on how to KEEP a woman
attracted to you long term. That’s because there is so little
understanding of how our emotions work and how to keep those emotions in
a woman firing day after day, in fact FIRING STRONGER with each day.
You have to keep a woman’s emotions “ON THEIR TOES”. The way to do this
is to constantly leading the way to further emotional growth and
excitement. People think that a drop in emotional relevance is
inevitable in a relationship, but that is hogwash.
In fact, with time, if you are emotionally intelligent, you can create
greater and greater emotional experiences for her that take her to such
infinite heights that she will be ADDICTED to you for life. No other guy
will be able to give her the ocean of emotional sensations she gets from
you.
But you have to KEEP ON LEADING THE DEVELOPMENT of those emotions, you
have to keep taking things to a new level. I’m not just talking
physically, in fact all that physical stuff will be TURBO BOOSTED by the
enhanced emotional sensations she is getting from you. So, just to give
an example, let’s say the two of you went skydiving together, or you
both went on adventure where you both literally had to trust each other
with your lives. Or did things like truly confided in each other about
important things about yourselves (but no wuss confessions, thank you).
Look, in case you don’t believe me that emotions can get stronger, just
look at the best sequels in motion picture history. What makes a sequel
great is that it takes all the emotions of the first one and
intelligently takes the story FARTHER, the development of the characters
FARTHER, deeper. The drama is also heightened by the taking on of
GREATER challenges. For example, Godfather II, Superman II, The Empire
Strikes Back. Heck, even Rambo II.
All the things that were COOL and EXCITING and INTRIGUING about the
first movies are taken to the NEXT LEVEL. Superman sacrifices his powers
to develops his humanity and finally consummates his relationship with
Lois, he must stand up to jerks but as a human he gets beaten for it,
while three super criminals from Krypton take over the Earth and he must
find a way to stop them. Rambo gets a chance to exorcise the ghosts that
have haunted him from the war by going back in to the hell zone that
formed him and this time not allowing any red tape to stop him from
succeeding in his mission. And Luke continues his training under an even
wiser Jedi master and confronts the greatest evil in the galaxy, who he
also learns is his own father.
Any AWESOME emotion can be developed further, but it takes INTELLIGENCE
and WILLPOWER and THOUGHT.
But what do most people do in relationships?
They say things like “it should all just go naturally”. No thought put
into it, no commitment, so of course the result is crap.
Imagine if people treated working out or their career by hoping for it
to just “go naturally”. No one would ever get any muscle or make a penny
of profit.
You have to take all the things that are awesome about the attraction a
woman has for you and you must develop those things further. But instead
of becoming a slave to her validation, the reality is that all you have
to do is develop YOURSELF, your OWN PERSONALITY, further and further,
because THAT is what attracted her to you in the first place.
But what do most guys do when they meet a woman they like?
THEY STOP developing.
They think that now all they have to do is just hook up.
You have to develop the attraction, develop the rapport, develop the
intimacy, develop the exciting, funny, intriguing, elements of your
personality and goals and lifestyle.
So if you are a guy who is exciting because he loves challenges, or if
you are a guy who is really funny and witty, chances are she loves those
things about you. Or if you are a guy that calls a spade a spade, or
whatever, become even better at that. And develop NEW aspects to your
personality as well.
The greatest gift you can give a woman is the gift of awesome EMOTIONS.
And this comes from YOU unleashing and developing an AWESOME unbeatable
personality that is inspiring and compelling to be around.
And you know what?
All the craziness going on in our culture?
Like the stuff that passes for music and music videos, that is designed
to get a SHOCK reflex and thus to get the attention of people, is
actually something that can HELP you.
Why?
Because the bottom line is that all the crap wouldn’t sell if people
were EMOTIONALLY in better shape. People have allowed their standards to
go DOWN. The fact that so much of the entertainment we are exposed to is
designed for pure SHOCK value is a testament to how emotionally lazy
most people are right now. And that means that if YOU know how to create
emotional impact, you are going to be LIGHT YEARS ahead of everyone
else.
If everyone was emotionally “in shape”, it would be a greater
competition. But as it stands, it’s like Einstein competing with Beavis
and Butthead.
And if YOU would like to learn how to unleash the NATURAL power of your
personality and of yourself so that you can attract and keep the kind of
women you may have thought were impossible before, then I seriously
suggest you download my eBook, The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success
with Women, IMMEDIATELY.
This book is where it all starts. It’s the DNA for creating the deepest
levels of attraction and connection ON YOUR OWN TERMS. Inside, you’ll
learn exactly how to pick up women, get physical, and sustain a woman’s
attraction to you.
Download it now at: http://thedatingwizard.com/the_dating_wizard.htm
And if you would like to get the FULL PICTURE, to learn EXACTLY how to
go about approaching women to take things from that very first moment
all the way to the bedroom and beyond, and even where to find the RIGHT
kinds of women for YOU, as well as how to handle and even eradicate the
kind of ridiculous “tests” that even GOOD women tend to throw your way,
then I seriously suggest you sign up for my Live Bootcamp or Workshop
program where you will “work it” in the real world. These programs are
three days and three nights of MASSIVE learning and skill growth, where
we won’t stop until YOU have achieved YOUR goals.
http://thedatingwizard.com/bootcamp/
Michael W, better known as The Dating Wizard, is a dating and
relationship consultant for men, as well as a frequent guest on radio
and television talk shows. Michael has spent over four years studying
the specific male behaviors that trigger attraction in women. His
findings are based on both his real life observations of men who are
successful with women, as well as his research on evolutionary
psychology and its applications to sexual attraction.
To find out all about Michael, his book, and his consultation services,
check out
www.TheDatingWizard.com or call 416 630 9966.
