Let's talk about
how your interior mood affects your exterior success with women.
One of the BIGGEST MISTAKES that I used to make regarding the whole idea
of attraction is that I thought you were supposed to be this type of
STOIC, serious guy. Brooding.
I thought this showed that you were TOUGH. I thought TOUGH was what it
was all about. I didn’t see how you could be both TOUGH and yet PLAYFUL.
Not only that, I was so dark and brooding that I LIVED in a world of
darkness. I dressed in all black. I felt very CONGRUENT this way too,
especially since I was so pissed off at so many things.
And the way my interactions were going with the girls that I liked
didn’t help any, in fact that probably made me feel more angry than
anything.
I was this decent guy, who would never cheat on a girl, who was totally
genuine and meant every word I said, and yet the girls I really wanted
just didn’t seem to feel the same way. They didn’t seem to appreciate
any of my decency, or my serious-mindedness, even though they kept on
SAYING they wanted a serious guy who wouldn’t cheat on them, etc. So I
used to assure them over and over again that I would NEVER cheat on
them, and that I would ALWAYS appreciate them, and I would call them
again and again to show them that I did NOT take them for granted.
Of course, this made the problem worse. This just pushed the girls away
even more, and this made me even more brooding, angry and pissed off.
It ultimately EXPLODED one day as I became totally and completely fed
up. I became blunt with girls, doing NOTHING for them, no favours, sick
and tired of being abused and used. I gave no compliments because I was
sure they didn’t deserve them. In a completely calm way, (because I
really didn’t care about any girl, since I felt they were pretty evil
anyway, so I had no anger, I was more EMOTIONALLY DEVOID) I told girls
OFF, the second they did the SLIGHTEST thing that **I** didn’t approve
of, in fact I told them that things wouldn’t work out and I meant it.
The key to remember is that I said this super perfectly calmly, which is
something that 99 percent of guys don’t do, they get emotionally
involved, which actually BOOSTS THE GIRLS’ EGO, since she feels she got
the guy to REACT to her.
Usually, these girls, who by the way happened to be INSANELY HOT,
started to chase me, asking me to call them and not to judge them.
Which was ironic, because when I was always there to call girls and make
them feel good, they wouldn’t give me the time of day.
I called girls when I felt like it, didn’t call them when I didn’t,
promised girls nothing, and had more girls than I could count.
So what was the problem?
There were a few problems:
ONE.
These relationships lasted for a VERY SHORT time. most girls are
compelled and intrigued and attracted to a guy who really is THE MAN in
the sense that he is emotionally strong, doesn’t need anything from
anybody, certainly not from a woman, is dominant, and who leads the
show. However, they also hope to have SOME connection to the guy. The
way I was behaving made any long term relationship impossible.
TWO.
When trying to actually PICK UP girls in “HAPPY” environments like
clubs, (where TONS of girls hang out) my behaviour wasn’t helping very
much. It’s just like trying to mix oil and water, they don’t mix. I
hated the music, I hated the whole happy thing actually. Hated it.
Thought it was “gay”.
So this style was not useful in clubs or lounges. And there are TONS of
girls in these places.
THREE.
In general, this whole attitude I had was not making me very happy. My
attitude was that chicks were “evil”, and they had to be shown “who’s
boss”. Which is kind of depressing if you really believe it, which I
did. Not a great paradigm or formula for happiness, on your own, or with
women.
All this changed SLOWLY, as I evolved to gain a far greater and more
comprehensive understanding of attraction.
It took YEARS for me to CLIMB OUT OF THE DARKNESS.
I grew to understand that attraction has nothing to do with being a
jerk, it has to do with making a girl feel you are SUPERIOR to her, and
then yet also make her feel that you DO LIKE her, for she has something
special about her. Superior does NOT mean abusive at ALL. It’s just a
FACT that people are attracted to that which they feel is SUPERIOR. So
says ME.
I also grew to understand that YOUR STATE OF MIND is the GREATEST POWER
ON EARTH you can possibly EVER have with women.
This state of mind is a combination of BEING IN AN AWESOME MOOD, of
KNOWING that you are DESIRABLE, and of feeling SEXUAL as well as of
feeling DOMINANT.
When you are operating in THIS DIMENSION, then you are in a WHOLE NEW
BALL GAME. Seriously, no goddamn exaggerations, it’s a WHOLE – NEW –
BALLGAME.
Suddenly, you no longer have to “run game” on women. YOU are all the
game you need. YOU have BECOME what attraction IS.
And your attitude toward women will change as well. The reason this
happens is because you are not only getting results, but you finally
“get it” that attraction is not about being MEAN.
Ultimately, it’s about making women feel great, which happens because
YOU feel great and you know you are the guy who will make her feel
GREAT.
But the thing is, WHAT IF YOU ARE FEELING LIKE TOTAL CRAP?
If state of mind is SO CRITICAL for success with women, then what the
hell should a guy do if he is feeling like total crap???
Should he stay home and say affirmations to himself?
Should he tell a girl that he is feeling crappy, that he is having an
“off day”?
NO!
The answer is that he should IMMEDIATELY GO OUT FROM THE HOUSE AND GO
INTERACT WITH WOMEN AS BEST HE CAN.
Yup.
THIS is what he should do.
Otherwise, he will just go DEEPER into his negativity, and by focusing
on it, he will only make it WORSE.
And NEVER, EVER EVER give in to the negative emotions. WEATHER THE STORM
with everything you’ve got.
For example if some EX-GIRLFRIEND who treated a guy like crap is making
a guy feel bad, then the BEST thing he can do is GO OUT AND INTERACT
WITH WOMEN!!!
And even if he feels like crap while he is doing this, he is doing the
BEST AND MOST EFFICIENT THING for his success and for his state of mind
to change.
The reason for this is because interacting with women requires ALL OF
YOUR SENSES TO BE ENGAGED. Your sense of timing, your sense of humor,
your visual senses, your alertness and dominance, your vocal abilities.
YOUR FOCUS IS THUS PUT IN THE RIGHT PLACE:
YOUR INTERACTIONS WITH WOMEN, rather than some negative PAST event or
even some negative current emotion.
As a brilliant friend I know explains, don’t REPRESS the thoughts, but
don’t FOCUS on them either!
THERE IS NO INSTANT PERFECTION.
But there is the QUICKEST ROUTE TO GETTING TO THAT PERFECT STATE OF
MIND.
And that’s through DOING IT, through DOING pick up.
And of course, not only are you putting your focus away from the
negative LIES in your brain, but chances are that you will also get
POSITIVE feedback from women if you follow the stuff I teach, which will
VALIDATE your sense of self-esteem and self-worth. This will BLOW TO
BITS the feelings of insecurity that were causing you the negative
feelings in the first place!!!
And of course, you should ALSO be immersing your life with POSITIVE
sources of energy and you must CUT OFF the negative sources of energy,
you must Do EVERYTHING in your power to avoid negative people and
negative sources.
Your mind should be fed a diet of EMPOWERING input, i.e. music that is
“THE MAN” approved.
Blow the wuss music the hell out of the water. For now, you can’t take
chances.
Also, remember that chances are if any woman ever did something CRUEL to
you, (this is different than simply not being attracted), chances are
INSANELY HIGH that she did this to you because SHE FELT INSECURE. She
felt horrible, so she wanted YOU to feel horrible. It was her CONTRIVED
PLAN to make you feel like crap. It was CONTRIVED, it’s not what you are
REALLY worth, it’s what SHE wanted YOU to THINK you are worth.
Insecurity is the cause of all hell and bad personalities. Yes it’s
true. It’s the cause of both behaviour that is FAKELY NICE and also
behaviour that is MEAN.
Notice how both FAKE NICE, i.e. a guy that kisses a woman’s ass because
he feel inferior, is not “nice”, it’s just a feeling of inferiority, and
notice also how being MEAN, both are NOT the way to achieve OPTIMUM
attraction.
If you want to gain the GREATEST POWERS of attraction with women, you
MUST learn to achieve a very specific state of mind that is the product
of a unique COMBINATION of several emotions.
And if you want to learn exactly HOW to ACHIEVE this state of mind, it’s
up to YOU to take action. I can think of no finer way to do this than by
IMMEDIATELY downloading my eBook, The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success
with Women, at: http://thedatingwizard.com/the_dating_wizard.htm
Inside, you'll learn:
-How to trigger attraction instantly.
-How to approach women and create "instant dates."
-How to get physical.
-How to handle tests.
-How to create a powerful sense of connection.
-And much, much more.
And if you would like to get the FULL PICTURE, to learn EXACTLY how to
go about approaching women to take things from that very first moment
all the way to the bedroom and beyond, and even where to find the RIGHT
kinds of women for YOU, as well as how to handle and even eradicate the
kind of ridiculous “tests” that even GOOD women tend to throw your way,
then I seriously suggest you sign up for my Live Bootcamp or Workshop
program where you will “work it” in the real world. These programs are
three days and three nights of MASSIVE learning and skill growth, where
we won’t stop until YOU have achieved YOUR goals.
http://thedatingwizard.com/bootcamp/
Michael W, better known as The Dating Wizard, is a dating and
relationship consultant for men, as well as a frequent guest on radio
and television talk shows. Michael has spent over four years studying
the specific male behaviors that trigger attraction in women. His
findings are based on both his real life observations of men who are
successful with women, as well as his research on evolutionary
psychology and its applications to sexual attraction.
To find out all about Michael, his book, and his consultation services,
check out
www.TheDatingWizard.com or call 416 630 9966.
