One of the
things that I am asked frequently is: How do I read a woman's body language? How
can I tell if she's "into" me?
First of all, before I give you the inside detail on reading this area of
physiology, I want to caution you that if you're spending a lot of time
"reading" into a woman's appearance rather than creating the vibe of the
interaction, you're probably focusing on the wrong areas.
If a woman is interested in you, you should be able to figure this out by her
overall interest in the conversation. If she is still there chatting with you,
she's at least a little interested. Just don't get caught up in the trap of
interpreting her more than you create the attraction proactively. Your role as
an Alpha Man is to take control of the interaction and lead it where it needs to
go.
Now, if you're in the conversation with a woman, but you're still a bit unclear
about her interest level in you, or wondering if she's just be trying to be
polite, here are some things to watch for. These are positive indications of
interest (IOIs) from her:
1) She's preening
Preening is when she's doing things to improve her appearance to you, such as
thrusting her chest out, moistening her lips, adjust her hair, straighten her
clothes, and so on. When a woman is interested in a man, she will subconsciously
become a bit insecure about her appearance and start fixing it.
While she may not pull out a brush and mirror, she will do some small things,
such as leave to use the bathroom, but come back looking better, maybe with a
new coat of lip gloss.
2) She's keeping good eye contact and smiling fairly frequently
Good eye contact means that she's not constantly scanning the room, or looking
to her friends that may be with her. If she isn't looking at you for a
significant part of your interaction, you'd better move along.
When you say something funny, does she smile? Does she laugh? Watch for a token
smile from her that is sincere.
How can you tell if a smile is real or not? A real smile will make her eyes
squint a little. Watch for this key indicator.
3) Her body language is open and loose
This means that her arms aren't crossed in front of her, and she's not turned
away from you too far.
A woman will also play with proxemics during the course of your interaction.
Proxemics are the interplay of distance between you and her, and how she uses
it. Is she leaning in or pulling away? Does she pull back when you come within
her personal "bubble?"
There are some tests you can do to see how comfortable she is feeling with you:
At some point during the conversation, make an excuse to change positions from
one side of her to another if you can. When you do, gently reposition her with
your hands on her upper back and arm. If she shrinks away, you've got some work
to do. If not, Game On!
4) She touches you
This one should be obvious, but it isn't for a lot of guys. We tend to
disqualify signs like this when they happen because it seems almost too forward
and incongruous. In reality, a woman will touch your arm in some way if she's
finding you attractive. This usually happens at a high point, like when she's
made to laugh about something.
Social conventions rule how a woman will express her interest in you, and
touching is one of the few ways that she will display interest. So when it
comes, you should accept it as a genuine sign
- but continue unfazed in your conversation.
If you watch closely, you'll see many other physical cues that indicate whether
or not a woman is into the conversation with you. They're subtle, but
observable. The most important thing you can do, however, is to not get too
caught up in the details. If you're paying too much attention to the little
things, you'll appear shaky and lacking confidence.
Just relax and pay attention to the feel of the conversation rather than look
too hard for 'signs' to tell you what to do.
Remember: Don't look for opportunity; MAKE IT for yourself. This is the Alpha
way.
I hope this helps you understand a little more about the physical dynamics and
interplay of body language between women.
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