I've seen it
all. Or, I should say, I've read it all.
I've been
through every site and every method out there for handling women and the dating
scene. I've bought the books, the tapes, reading everything I can get my hands
on. Alas, I haven't found that one elusive and cure-all secret, and that's quite
simply because it doesn't exist.
We (men, in general) hunger for more self-assurance in our ourselves and our
dealings with women. Ironically, the one factor that every
site/article/system/method cites as its primary foundation is -- you guessed it
-- your confidence.
Confidence isn't a state you achieve, although it can occasionally feel this
way. Confidence is a cycle, a treadmill, if you will, that you need to learn how
to initiate for yourself.
You see, confidence feeds back on itself, and this in turn (like a nuclear
reactor with its control rods pulled out) creates a chain reaction of energy
that only serves to elevate you to the next level.
Nothing succeeds like success. If you're confident in yourself, there's no way
she can bring you down.
So how do you get that confidence? The simple advice is to just DO IT.
I really hate re-treading slogans, but that one nails it on the head, friends.
The only cure to all your problems is to feel the fear, the insecurity, the
angst, the wild-Watusi -- whatever -- but DO IT ANYWAY.
Feel insecure? Great. Go ask for her number.
Feel unhappy? Didn't get a raise? Great. Go call her and ask her out.
No, really, do it. NOW. Act in spite of it all.
It's all about posture. They don't know that you're feeling the way you are
unless you A) Tell them, or B) Don't do anything. You see, the truth is that if
you don't do it, your situation doesn't get one bit better. If you do something,
you'll reap rewards.
Even if you don't get the results you want, you'll still feel better having done
something anyway. Waiting is just a clever way we invent for making it okay to
go on losing. Remember: It's better to regret the things you did than the things
you didn't.
Sure, your mood will interfere and tell you that you're not the stud you think
you are. Doubts, those evil hobgoblins of us all, creep in and tell you that
you're just another dweeb that doesn't deserve her love or attention.
Insecurity.
Don't you believe it, damnit.
What you need are your own personal rituals you can create that get you into the
right frame of mind and keep your confidence treadmill oiled and running strong.
I do the following things to keep myself confident and motivated:
Write on the
mirror. I have a dry erase marker in my bathroom that I write messages on my
mirror with. Whatever you can tell yourself that gets your day started off
right.
Keep a list
of your strengths. I have a list of my top twenty-five traits that make me a
BLESSING to any woman lucky enough to get my time, my energy. This is your
power to walk, if it comes to that. Posture.
Make a list
of her traits. What do you want your magical woman to be like? If you don't
know, you better figure it out quick. It's really not about who we date and
marry, but how we avoid the ones we shouldn't be with. Think about it. If
you're single, be glad you've got opportunity instead of crying in your beer
that you're alone. Ever see (been) a guy in a crappy relationship?
Everything is relative, my man.
Make a list
of her faults. This is perspective medicine. If you can stop thinking of her
as perfect, chances are you will be better able to handle your moments of
insecurity.
Keep a
journal and/or a collection of notes. I do both, journaling my day-to-day
experiences (much cheaper than a therapist, and more effective), as well as
keeping a document on my PC at home and work with motivational insights and
advice. Keep your perspective. Review these notes as much as you need, and
especially when you're feeling the slide into insecurity.
Especially
important is to find the strength to avoid your bad moods. Not that they won't
come to haunt you, mind you, but that you can't let them take over and force you
to dial up Betty at 3:30 AM some Saturday.
Remember that every insecure mood you've ever had has passed by. EVERY one of
them. Don't take action when you're in a bad or insecure mood. Resist the urge.
Wait it out. It sucks, and you'll be so tempted to do something. And it will
seem SO urgent.
Don't do it! Breathe. Hang loose. If it's a good decision, you'll still feel
like doing it when you're feeling secure and confident again.
And one more thing: I've noticed that men have the uncontrollable habit of
wanting to get inside the woman's head. You know, one minute you're wondering if
she's thinking about you, the next you're imagining scenarios that have your gut
in an acidic boil and your temples throbbing.
"Does she like me? Where is she? Why doesn't she return my messages?"
Stop obsessing. Stay - out - of - her - head. If you cross over from thinking
about your personal space, your life, your confidence, whatever is immediate to
you and your happiness, you're in the wrong part of the field, my man. This is a
downward spiral of madness that will spell your doom. Control your thoughts, or
your confidence will vaporize. (This is where not placing all your hopes on one
woman would be the best advice I can offer.)
So there you have it. Some advice from the trenches.
Now go out and DO IT!
Do you want to start learning how to dramatically improve your
self-confidence with real, time-proven methods?
First of all, you need my e-book - The Dating Black Book. I've packed
this e-book with hundreds of examples, tips, strategies, explanations,
what to say, what to do... It's all in there. And you can get it here: www.datingdynamics.com/ebookstore.htm
You'll get answers to questions like:
... When is a woman playing you or REALLY interested? ... How do you stop being strung along for weeks and weeks by women, and
how do you turn them on to you instead of you being turned into another
girlfriend? ... How do you meet MORE hot women? ... How do you get them
attracted to you right from the start? ... How do you stop paying for
dates that go NOWHERE?
-Carlos
Do you know about the RULES for men? Do you
want to know how to counter her tests and games? www.datingdynamics.com
Do you know where to touch women to give them the chills and turn them
on to you? Do you know when to touch them? Do you know how to interpret
a woman's questions and interests, and turn them in your favor?
Do you want to stop shooting in the dark with your dating and finally
get some understanding of women? Some real tangible results?
It's tempting to wing it. It really is. Some guys think that they'll
"Figure women out" when they get to a certain point, except that point
never comes. Different women seem to want different things. (Or maybe
they're the same things?) It's too damn confusing.
It doesn't have to be anymore.
THE DATING BLACK BOOK breaks this strategy down in its entirety, from
preparing to meeting to passing their tests. It's the most complete
strategy out there. I'll even tell you how to interpret their behavior
and figure out which kind of woman you're dealing with - and most
importantly, how to avoid the bad ones.
