Author of: Being a Man in a Woman's World
Dedicated to advancing the arts and sciences of relationships.
Start having the relationships YOU deserve!
Got a love, relationship or man/woman question? I answer all letters.
Hi Doc!
I've read through your site and have found some answers which have helped but I
would greatly appreciate your opinion.
Well I met this girl 3 months ago on the internet. From the moment we met, we
chatted for about 3 weeks every day for about 2 or more hours on average and
quite a few times we chatted for about 5 hours. We’ve been very intimate (phone
sex), and she says she has never opened up to anyone as quickly as she has to
me.
She split from her ex 2 months ago, and they were together for 8 months, she
says she does not want the disappointment again but yet says she wants me and
has feelings for me. However, in the last month and a half she has been too busy
to talk to me, return SMS messages, phone calls, etc. and I’ve basically given
up trying with her. I would like your expert advice as to whether it’s worth
continuing to try with her or just forget I ever met her.
Thanks a lot. You’re a genius - great articles and information. I look forward
to hearing from you.
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Hello!
Thanks for the comments on the site. "Genius"? No - I'm just a guy that has had
his head kicked in enough by NOT knowing what I was doing to actually DO
something about it! Now, I write books to try to help others through this too.
I can tell you exactly what happened here: you tried to hold your dates over the
phone rather than in person. In effect, you’re creating a fantasy relationship.
As soon as she realized this, she decided that wasn't what she wanted.
I have people write to me all the time with this same situation. They spend
hours on the phone and create incredibly intense emotional connections and then
one partner pulls out entirely. It is usually the woman that pulls out, by the
way. Here's why: by hiding behind a telephone, computer, SMS, etc., you're
actually telling her that you're too much of a pussy to actually meet her in
person. This gets very frustrating very fast.
Frankly, I think you may have lost this one. If you try to go back to her now,
she's still going to remember you as the guy that hid from her - not the great
guy that you are.
Remember: telephones are for SETTING dates, not holding them.
