WOMEN DON'T LIE - MEN DON'T LISTEN Doc Love Success Coach
Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?"
This week: Remember, guys: fools rush in where
angels fear to tread.
Hey Doc,
Thanks for all of your books. I’ve read and re-read them over and over. I’ve
tried “The System” off and on for over a year -- and invariably I’m happy when I
use it, and unhappy when I don’t!
The main difficulty I have is with phone calls, specifically, trying to catch
the women at home. I’ve avoided calling their cell phones, but it does seem
weird to have their number and not use it.
The second problem I have is that I get most of my numbers on Fridays. Waiting
until the following week seems too long (10 days if I call on Monday), and
calling on Sunday night seems awkward.
Here’s my current dilemma. I met Heather recently and on our first date she
showed high Interest Level. She laughed at my jokes, hugged me once, said she
had a good time, and twice told me she was glad I asked for her number. I feel
this woman has real potential. She is Flexible and seems Giving.
I called her twice several days later (a Monday) at 7 p.m. and 8 p.m. -- no
answer. I tried twice Tuesday, also no answer, and I left a short message saying
that I called, but did not leave a call-back number nor did I ask her out. I
know leaving any message is against your principles.
Doc, how do I proceed now? Have I blown it already? If I can’t catch them at
home, do I just wait another week? Heather’s already asked about my marital
status, whether I have kids, etc. Even though I played it cool but friendly on
the date, she knows I am interested.
I have continued to try and use your techniques by asking another girl out and
have another number to call next week, though it’s Heather I really like. Yet I
do see the value in having more than one number! It’s really killing me to apply
“The System” to this Beautiful Woman, though I have seen it work on women that I
have ended up not pursuing further.
Thanks for any insight.
Marat - who can’t figure out how to take it from here
Hi Marat,
If you know that “The System” works, why in the world are you fighting it? If
you go six months following my rules and everything is right, why would you
change the order of things? What is it you don’t trust about my principles? Do
you have to go out and test them, is that your problem? Are you out to find your
own way of doing things? Do you want to prove me wrong? I may not be 100% right,
but NO ONE COMES CLOSER THAN I DO. I bat 98.7%.
Guy, one question you should be asking yourself is exactly where Heather is when
you call her at all different times of night and day and she doesn’t pick up.
Now think about this. You got Heather’s home phone number and every time you
call her she’s not there. Yet she’s carrying a phone around with her and you
have that number. Why aren’t you calling her cell phone? You already played the
other hand and it hasn’t worked. You’re lucky enough to have a cell phone as
backup, so what are you waiting for?
Marat, all you have to do is phone a girl on Wednesday or Thursday, and set up a
date for Monday or Tuesday night. That’s all there is to it -- simple.
So, Heather gave you a squeeze. Wow. I’m knocked out. Seriously, I don’t know
why you guys get off on hugging. I’ve got an aunt who’s 93. She’s a great lady.
When we get together we hug. Dig? So I wouldn’t place too much stock in it. But
if a girl pulls you in like that on a date, go for a kiss on the lips. If you
can’t pull that off, go for a kiss on the cheek. Let’s press the issue here.
(Unless of course the woman owns the company you work for, then you don’t try to
kiss her -- obviously.)
So, you feel Heather has real potential. Why? You know nothing about this woman,
dude. You’re going out with a complete stranger. You’re dishing out all this
praise just because she did a couple of right things? Boy, I’d love to be
student in your class! To you Psych majors; she’s got no time in. Tell me in six
months that you trust her – then we’re talking about something.
And she’s Flexible and Giving to boot. How do you know that, Marat? You’re just
dying to give this woman accolades, aren’t you? Which means your Interest Level
is way up in the nineties. Unfortunately, that’s not what counts. As my cousin
Sal “The Fish” Love says, “It’s better not to adore them.”
Why didn’t you call Heather at 10 a.m. and 4 p.m. and 9 p.m. instead of banging
on your redial button right after you called her the first time? The times you
phoned were way too close together. If she sees your number come up on her
caller ID she’s going to think to herself, “Look at this guy – he went berserk!
What did he do – have 16 cups of espresso and hit the phone lines? Or is he that
desperate?”
Then you go and break a cardinal rule by leaving a message, but you don’t leave
a number to help Heather to call you back. Really slick, man. Like my Uncle
Jethro Love would say, “I’d never want to go hunting with you or Mister Cheney!”
If you know that leaving a message is against my principles, why on earth did
you do it? In other words, pal, you can teach my techniques, but you can’t
implement them. Does that make any sense? You can get up on a podium and teach
“telephone blunders” to 200 guys in a seminar, but you can’t avoid making them
yourself. Intellectually, you know what to do, but you can’t pull if off
yourself. Know why? Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love says, “Because you’re
whipped!”
Have you already blown it with Heather? Well, as they say at the racetrack,
“It’s a lock!”
Marat, I’m curious to hear your answers to Heather’s questions. Did you get a
big laugh out of her like you’re supposed to? When she asked, “Have you been
married,” you should have said, “I’m married right now,” and watched her jump
out of her seat. And then I hope you said, “Tell you what, we’re going to be one
big happy family – you, me and my three wives up in Idaho!”
If Heather could tell you were interested in her on your date, then you weren’t
cool at all. Go and watch Steve McQueen in The Getaway and Bullitt. That’s what
cool really is. It’s not who you like, man – it’s who the woman wants. So you
got it all backwards. Are you sure you got the right book?
The value of having lots of girls’ phone numbers is explained in the Dating
Dictionary. It’s like playing poker with a strong hand. You have to study my
book and get your act together. Then you have to be going through girls like
water through a rainspout. You want to be shuffling three to five girls at any
one time. As Doctor Freud once said, “The biology lab first, then field work.”
You have to go back and forth from book to practice until you get smarter and
more aware.
Marat, Marat, Marat – the whole idea is to apply “The System” to this Beautiful
Woman! This is where DISCIPLINE comes in. Like my cousin General Love says, “You
want to be a Marine on the dating battlefield? You gotta toughen up, son!”
What does seeing my techniques work on women you haven’t pursued have to do with
anything? Of course they work! Why don’t we talk about the color of your grass?
Is it green or gray?
You have to go to the library on Sundays, get jacked on coffee, turn off the
cell phone, and pull out your magic marker and STUDY. Pretend you’re taking the
state bar exam next week. You have to have my material MEMORIZED. Do it for four
straight Sundays. You have a long way to go, my friend. You’re doing some things
right, but you’re giving this girl way too much credit and she worked you. Don’t
be so quick to give away the store.
Remember, guys: fools rush in where angels fear to tread.
Guys, e-mail me at doclove@doclove.com
with your love challenges. All will be answered, but because of space, only letters of general interest will be printed. To find out more about The "System" visit me at:
www.doclove.com or (800) 404-2644.
Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?"
