One Powerful Technique For Overcoming The Fear Of
Rejection
Doc Love's Advice
WOMEN DON'T LIE - MEN DON'T LISTEN Doc Love Success Coach
Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?"
It’s apparent that you don’t have the
confidence, the cool or the clarity to handle such a delicate situation. I don’t
even want you to be thinking about asking this particular girl out. You’re not
ready yet.
Hey Doc,
I met this girl a few weeks back while
interviewing people to fill a job position that we had open where I work. (I’m
an administrator at a small business college. I do the interviewing but I don’t
make the final decisions on who gets hired.)
I have to tell you that this girl seemed so perfect for me. I could tell she was
taking interest in me by the way she was staring into my eyes, but I was just
way too scared to even ask her out. I guess the last time I even asked a girl
out was four or five months ago. I’ve just felt kind of frozen. The way my
schedule is, I don’t often meet any women in my daily life.
This girl came back a second time for another interview with my boss, but I was
too nervous again, and I only barely said hello to her although she gave me a
warm smile. Is there any way I can recover from this and give this another shot?
I really think this girl is right for me. I would really appreciate any advice.
Elliot – who needs to get his courage up
Hey Elliot,
Hold your horses and cool your jets, Sonny Boy. We don’t know if your potential
new co-worker was giving you that sparkly-eyed look because she was attracted to
you, or, because she was turning on the charm so you’d give her the job (or
both.) Although it’s more likely that she was more interested in the job than in
you. That’s the way the odds play out in the land of reality.
But whatever the truth was, when you’re on the job you’re not there to be
hitting on the pretty girls who come in for interviews. You were there, in this
case, to find the best person for the position that was open. So it’s good that
you didn’t come on to this girl. You don’t want to be jeopardizing your own job.
But, at the same time it’s not good that you were afraid to ask her out. You
understand the distinction?
When and if you should get involved with someone at your work is always a tough
call. There are no hard and fast rules. There are guys who have been sued and
raked over the coals for even complimenting a female co-worker. And, there are
plenty of examples of men who met the love of their life at the office.
In your case, Elliot, it’s apparent that you don’t have the confidence, the cool
or the clarity to handle such a delicate situation. I don’t even want you to be
thinking about asking this particular girl out. You’re not ready yet.
“The System” tells us that one of the qualities that women value most in a man
is confidence. If you’re not confident with women, which you’re obviously not,
Elliot, then you must put yourself on a confidence-building program. How is that
done? Here’s the secret: (It’s actually a lot easier than you might think.)
Determine the highest level of beauty that a woman can have and still not
engender one bit of nervousness or trepidation in you when you contemplate
approaching her and talking to her. So, for instance, if you still get the
heebie jeebies at the thought of approaching a 7, take it down a couple notches
to the 5’s who never make you uncomfortable at all. Then, whenever you are out
and about in public, say “hello” to and strike up a conversation with every
woman that you encounter who is, in one way or another, a 5 or less in your
eyes.
Talk to women of all ages. Talk to mothers with their kids. Talk to grandmothers
you encounter at the produce section in the market. Ask them what the difference
is between a sweet potato and a yam. Laugh and joke with the plain Jane who
works at the bank who just isn’t quite pretty enough for you to be romantically
interested in. But only talk to women who you are 100% comfortable with.
You see, if you spend most of your life hardly ever approaching and talking to
any females at all, it’s pretty tough to suddenly ask a girl out that you’ve
just met, particularly a rather attractive one. But the more you practice
interacting with females on a daily basis, the easier it gets to connect with
the ones you like.
The low 7, who used to make you slightly nervous, now begins to feel like just
another one of the gals who you regularly chat with. Then, once you achieve
comfort and confidence with the low 7’s, step up to the mid and high 7’s. The
trick is to crank up the risk factor very, very slowly, so slowly that your
subconscious never perceives that there is anything to fear.
If you follow my instructions, Elliot, you will slowly but surely gain the
comfort and confidence you need in order to be successful with women. You will
no longer have to be tormenting yourself about how you failed to ‘close’ when
you knew that you should have. And you won’t be complaining that you don’t meet
any women. There are women everywhere you go, aren’t there? Smile and say hello.
Start with the ones you have no attraction to, that’s easy.
But, in order for this method to work, you have to be truly committed to
practicing every day. It won’t work if you merely do it in a half-assed way.
Read my instructions over several times and make the commitment to do whatever
it takes to have a real breakthrough for yourself.
Then, when the next potential soul mate crosses your path, it will be no big
deal to say to her, “Missy, I’d like to take you out. What’s your home phone
number?” Just avoid using work as your only resource for meeting women. Get out
there on the “street” and start relating to the abundance of women who are
everywhere else.
Remember, guys: don’t bite off more than you can chew.
Guys, e-mail me at doclove@doclove.com
with your love challenges. All will be answered, but because of space, only letters of general interest will be printed. To find out more about The "System" visit me at:
www.doclove.com or (800) 404-2644.
Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?"
