The answer here is to
realize that many of the things you do when you're around women that you
feel attracted to, are considered ANNOYING by those women.
If you listen to women talk
about men, you'll often hear them use the word "ANNOYING" to describe
certain men and certain things that some men DO.
Now, as you can probably guess, it's not usually a good thing when a woman
uses this particular word to describe a guy...
And, as you can ALSO probably guess, when a woman uses this particular word,
it's not usually about guys who she is ATTRACTED to (although this isn't
always true).
Now, it's taken me a few years of paying attention to really get a handle on
what women are talking about when they say "He's annoying" or "It's so
annoying when he does that".
And guess what I realized was at the ROOT of women finding a guy or his
behavior annoying?
IT'S ALMOST ALWAYS WUSSY BEHAVIOR!
AHHHH!
THINGS THAT ANNOY WOMEN...
Here are some of the things that many women consider to be "annoying":
- Calling her too often
- Telling her that you have "feelings" for her too early
- Giving away your power to her and making her the boss
- Always asking a woman what she wants instead of leading
- Acting submissive and weak
- Accepting her demands, bossy-ness, and manipulative requests
- Being her doormat and putting your own needs aside
"WHAT?" you say. "HOW COULD THIS BE?"... you might be thinking.
How is it possible that demonstrating your affection for a woman by calling
her, telling her how you feel, letting her make the decisions, and putting
her first could be considered ANNOYING, of all things?
Well guess what?
IT IS.
Women, and ESPECIALLY the most ATTRACTIVE and desirable women usually
consider the above things to be VERY annoying.
Of course, the reason for this is because no matter how good these kinds of
behaviors seem on the surface, there's only one conclusion that can be drawn
from them:
THE MAN DOING THEM IS A BONAFIDE, 100% CERTIFIABLE WUSSY!
AND WOMEN AREN'T ATTRACTED TO WUSSIES.
NEVER.
Now, do I really, really, REALLY mean that women are NEVER, EVER attracted
to Wussies?
I mean, isn't that an over-generalization?
Nothing is always true, right?
Well, this one IS. Actually, what I MEAN is...
As far as generalizations go, this particular one is as close to being true
all the time as they get.
And just in case I haven't said this enough, let me say it one more time...
just to make sure it's clear:
WOMEN AREN'T ATTRACTED TO WUSSIES.
So, now you understand why all of the "nice" things that you've done for
women seem to always result in the woman pulling away.
It's because she finds your nice-guy "Wuss" behaviors to be ANNOYING.
AND IT KEEPS GETTING WORSE...
To further confuse things, you'll often hear a woman say something to the
effect of...
"I want a STRONG guy who is also SENSITIVE..."
...or...
"He needs to have his own life, his own interests, and his own friends, but
also be totally focused on me..."
I see things like this in women's personal ads all the time. I'm sure you've
seen things like this yourself. Women often talk about wanting a combination
of things in a man that just don't seem to fit...
So what's going on here? Are women crazy? (Yes.) But seriously, what are
they talking about?
How is it that women seem to always talk about wanting men who have these
qualities that don't fit together?
I know that I personally used to hear this stuff and then say to myself "OK,
well I've got the sensitive part covered so I guess I need to start acting a
little bit stronger". I thought that maybe this came down to getting my lazy
ass to the gym and working out. You know, to become "stronger".
No, I'm serious.
Well, here's the BIG REALIZATION that I had...
I've now realized that I had it all wrong.
Instead of thinking to myself that I was a nice, sensitive guy that needed
to become a little stronger, what I really needed was to become a strong guy
who could also act sensitive on occasion. The difference seems almost like
word-play, but it's not. Not at all. You see, when a woman says that she
wants a "strong guy who's also sensitive", that's what she MEANS.
She wants a guy who's STRONG. The sensitive part is far more "optional" than
the STRONG part.
This is why women often date jerks and guys who are emotionally unavailable,
and don't date us "nice guys" who would do anything for them. Remember,
ATTRACTION ISN'T A CHOICE.
Women do not sit down and make a list of the qualities that a particular guy
has, then think it over for a few days, then DECIDE whether or not to FEEL
ATTRACTION.
NO WAY.
It happens in an INSTANT, and it happens for all kinds of "illogical"
reasons... reasons that even the woman who is feeling it can't usually
describe. So what's the answer here?
The answer here is to realize that many of the things you do when you're
around women that you feel attracted to, are considered ANNOYING by those
women.
You must understand that you sometimes have to do things that SEEM to be
"inconsiderate" in order to give a woman what she REALLY wants (which is a
man who is in control of himself, the situation, and often her).
Raise your right hand, and repeat after me...
"I will stop being a Wussy around women."
"I will stop being a Wussy around women."
"I will stop being a Wussy around women."
Stop doing things that say "I'm a Wussy", because those are the very things
that women find ANNOYING. And START doing the things that you're learning
here.
Lean back. Act Cocky & Funny around women. Bust on them and give them a hard
time. And LEAD the way, don't follow.
Now, one of the problems that a lot of guys run into is "putting together"
different personality traits that don't seem to go together. Women say that
they want guys who are funny...
but also strong.
Many of the things women SAY they want seem like they CONFLICT with each
other. What's a guy to do?
Well, THE FIRST thing a guy should do is learn what WORKS. Not what SOUNDS
like it might work. Not what SHOULD work. And not what is SUPPOSED to work.
LEARN WHAT WORKS.
I personally spent several years trying to figure out what "works". Why did
it take me so long?
Because, as it turns out, I started out with a HUGE disadvantage. And I'm
not talking about a disadvantage like a big nose (which I have).
I'm talking about a disadvantage like BAD PROGRAMMING. I had a "map" in my
mind... of how I thought I should behave around women... and it turned out
to be THE WRONG MAP.
The most frustrating part was that when I did the things that SHOULD work,
they made women UN-interested.
It was as if the world wasn't working right. I would be sweet and nice, and
a woman would not want to talk to me. I would call often and share my
feelings with her, and she would fall for the rude jerk who could care less
about treating her well.
Well, as you might already know, sometimes I'm a "glutton for punishment".
Translation: I stuck with it anyway. I kept trying to figure out what
works... even though the things I was doing WEREN'T working.
The magic "breakthrough" came ONLY after I started making friends with and
watching guys who were VERY successful with women... then putting what I
knew about psychology and behavior together with the NEW stuff I was
learning "in the field". What I discovered was literally SHOCKING to me.
I can remember slapping myself on the forehead, shaking my noggin, and
laughing to myself... as I watched some of my new friends who were good with
women... doing things that just plain SHOULDN'T work... but that DID work.
Here's one of the lessons I learned:
Body Language is more important that WORD language.
In fact, you can have the smoothest "pick up lines" in the world... but if
you don't understand Body Language, the woman you're talking to CAN'T feel
ATTRACTION for you.
Here's another one:
Doing "nice" things for a woman doesn't make her any more likely to feel
ATTRACTION for you. In fact, most of these things BACKFIRE... and wind up
pushing her AWAY.
Here's a third lesson I learned:
Even though "jerks" and "bad boys" don't treat women well, doesn't mean that
women don't feel ATTRACTION for them.
In fact, women often report feeling INCREDIBLY attracted to these kinds of
men... so powerfully, in fact, that they can't CONTROL these feelings...
As I was learning these interesting and "counter intuitive" lessons, I also
began documenting the specific things that the guys who were "naturals" with
women did... in order to attract women.
One of my BIGGEST realizations was that literally ANY guy can attract
women... if he just understands how ATTRACTION works. And any guy can use
the secrets that "jerks" and "bad boys" have discovered and used... WITHOUT
being abusive or mean.
In fact, if you LEAVE OUT the meanness or abuse, a woman will be FAR more
likely to STAY around.
I now honestly believe that it's possible to treat women well, while being
interesting, challenging, ATTRACTIVE, and sexy at the same time.
But you have to know how. It
all starts with understanding the basic principles like the one I've just
discussed, the origin and evolution of ATTRACTION, the beliefs and values of
"naturally" successful guys, and, of course, the specific techniques and
strategies to use in different situations to do things like approach women,
get numbers, get dates, and take things to a physical level..
And where is the best place to learn all of these things, from the
foundation to the specific techniques for how to be successful with women
and dating?
My original eBook "Double Your Dating", then you need to do that now. It's
the basic foundation for everything I teach in these newsletters, and it's
an absolute must-read. Read samples and download it here: http://www.doubleyourdating.com/
- just follow the 'ebook' link and download your copy.
...and read it, learn it, and use it. Talk to you soon, David D.
P.S. As you can probably imagine, I get a TON of email... So if you'd like
to send me a Success Story, Question, or Comment, follow these guidelines: 1) Keep it short and to the point. Two paragraphs max. 2) Tell me what's working for you before you ask your question. I appreciate
all of the "Your stuff is great" and "I don't need to tell you how well your
stuff works" comments, but the fact is that I DO need to hear all of the
specifics... because this helps other guys to see what's working in
different situations. 3) If you have a Success Story, write "Success Story" in the subject line of
the email. I read these first. 4) At the end of the email, give me your initials and tell me where you're
from. 5) Send it to me at: SuccessStories@doubleyourdating.com
(c) 2002-2005 David DeAngelo, All Rights Reserved. By
accepting and reading this article you agree that: You understand this to be an opinion and not professional
advice, it is only to be used for personal entertainment purposes, you are solely responsible for any use of the ideas, concepts, and content and will hold David DeAngelo harmless.
http://www.doubleyourdating.com
