Men that give women that
electric feeling of sexual attraction don't act like therapists... or
wussies. The response you're getting from women is because they can sense
that you're actually a man, and not a wuss that's trying to pretend to be a
man.
*** Advice Question Of
The Week ***
Hey David,
Many thanks to you for your knowledge and insight on women. I have
personally seen a 1000% increase in my ability to attract women. No doubt
this stuff works!! Now i realize the concept is to double your dating, and
not double your relationships, but my dilemma is one I'm sure you get a lot.
Here's the situation:
I met this girl while out at a local club. I'd say she was an 8.5 - 9 on my
scale. But more importantly, had a personality to match her looks. Nice!! I
immediately sprang into action and went over with a simple "Hi". And we
chatted for a few minutes. I kept up the cocky/funny and played the
character. Apparently my manner and approach was dead on, because she was
very responsive and in fact commented on the way I presented myself.
So anyway, we chatted, I got her number and
told her I'd call. Said good-bye, and left. I actually called the next night
(Sunday) but we were both too hung over to do anything. Well, on Monday she
called me. And has since called me at least twice for each time I have
called her. We've been out several times for drinks as well.
Here's my problem. I'm very interested in
pursuing something more than casual dating. How do I go about balancing the
art of cocky/funny and maintaining interest, but also come across as
relationship material without wussing out?? I haven't bought her anything in
the way of dinner or gifts, with the exception of a beer or two. BUT always
after she's bought a round first. She's very independent, and I like that
about her.
I don't want some needy woman clinging to me
all the time, but I would like to keep her interest high and continue
through the various bridges you mention in your book.
It may seem soon, but this one turns my stomach upside down and I feel the
temptation to "Wuss out". BUT I REFUSE to turn into my old self. I guess I
want to know some tips you could offer when you've doubled your dating and
you find one you want to keep around for awhile? Is it ever ok to express
your feelings while still keeping up the attraction? Or would you just
continue doing what works, and see where that leads? Your time and insight
is greatly appreciated.
Thank you.
Sincerely,
J. Jones
Louisville, Ky
David D. >>>
Well, a 1000% increase in success attracting women isn't that bad. Try
harder. But your email brings up a topic and scenario that is very relevant
to a lot of guys.
And you're right... I don't teach guys how to "Double Your Relationships".
But that doesn't mean that I don't think that I have something against
getting into longer term relationships.
In fact, I think a great relationship with a really wonderful woman can be
an amazingly wonderful thing.
The problem is that most guys don't have the confidence and choice that
comes from understanding how to attract women anytime, anywhere... and they
wind up settling for whatever woman happens to like them. And they also tend
to act like total Wuss Bags when they ARE in relationships because they have
fear around the idea of her leaving.
And this brings me to your question about what a guy should do if he meets a
woman that he's like to work toward a longer term relationship with.
The FIRST thing you should do is what you're doing... lean back and give her
space.
Most guys want to try and "corner the market" as quickly as they can when
they meet a woman that they like, and try to convince the woman to be
exclusive immediately.
In my experience this is a BAD idea for a few reasons:
1. You don't know her very well yet. I make it a personal rule to not get
into a "boyfriend/girlfriend" relationship with a woman for at LEAST 3-6
months. I want to get to know a woman before I'm interested in being
attached.
I once met a really hot girl for a cup of tea, and she told me that she
likes to date a guy for a couple of weeks, then form a monogamous,
long-term, boyfriend and girlfriend relationship with him, then sleep
together.
This was all at the first meeting I had with her over a cup of tea.
I told her that she was crazy, and that I'd never get into a
boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with some woman that I'd only known for a
couple of weeks... and then I left.
I had images of coming home in a few weeks and finding her going through my
closets and saying "Who's is this?"
Get to know a woman before you make your decision!
2. If a woman is the type that will get into a serious relationship with you
quickly, then there's probably a good chance that SHE has some issues.
The last thing you need is a clingy woman that is out looking around for a
man to complete her and give her life meaning...
So you're doing the right thing. Nice.
If you want to pursue a relationship relationship, then you might want to
actually start doing a sweet, romantic thing or two every once in awhile.
A card, a flower, etc. is all it takes to communicate your message. But use
them wisely, and don't start acting like a needy wussy!
Also, when you start saying things like "I was thinking about you", "I
really like spending time with you", and other lovey talk it says the same
thing.
Again, use sparingly... especially with independent women!
And ultimately, if you want to actually have a real, honest-to-goodness
relationship, then tell her how you feel about her.
If you think she's worth having a relationship with, then you're going to
need to take the risk at some point of telling her.
I hope it works out for you!
***Question***
Dave, thanks for all the advice. Between your e-book (best investment I ever
made regarding women) and the newsletter I pulled myself out of a dry spell
that is measured in YEARS. The "bratty little sister" comment you made
really put me in the right frame of mind. "How would I treat this girl if
she was my best friend's hot little sister?" perfect. I'm not as good as I
wanna be at this yet but it will happen..
I have been trying to get rid of as many negatives about my appearance as I
can (lost weight, updated wardrobe, etc.) I'm 35 and have some gray hair. Do
you think I should get rid of it? Most of the women I come into contact with
are in their early twenties and I wonder if I am sometimes being put into
the "No, too old" category before I even open my mouth. I think once you are
in the "No" category it's hard to get out no matter how good your game is.
Thanks again,
J.D.
Minnesota
David D. >>>
Wow, ended a dry spell that is measured in YEARS, huh?
Whew!
Well congratulations.
As for your observation that "once your are in the "No" category it's hard
to get out no matter how good your game is"... I think this is pretty
accurate thinking.
And to answer your question about gray hair...
I've found that there is a group of women who either don't care very much
about how old a man is, and a group who actually LIKE older men.
So you're going to have to decide what you want, and then maybe test. See
how it works for you. See how women respond to you both ways.
Let's face it: Attractive women get a lot of attention. They're not looking
for a guy that throws himself at her, and then gives up easily. They're
looking for a guy that has all kinds of self confidence, and sees right
through her games... to the point where he disarms her and walks away with
the digits.
Think about it.
And, of course, if you want to learn more about how the female mind works,
plus dozens and dozens of specific techniques to attract women, get their
numbers and emails, get more dates, and take things to a physical level, you
need to download a copy of my book, "Double Your Dating".
You can download it right now and be reading it within literally minutes
from right now. Just go to: http://www.doubleyourdating.com/
- just follow the 'ebook' link and download your copy.
...and read it, learn it, and use it. Talk to you soon, David D.
P.S. As you can probably imagine, I get a TON of email... So if you'd like
to send me a Success Story, Question, or Comment, follow these guidelines: 1) Keep it short and to the point. Two paragraphs max. 2) Tell me what's working for you before you ask your question. I appreciate
all of the "Your stuff is great" and "I don't need to tell you how well your
stuff works" comments, but the fact is that I DO need to hear all of the
specifics... because this helps other guys to see what's working in
different situations. 3) If you have a Success Story, write "Success Story" in the subject line of
the email. I read these first. 4) At the end of the email, give me your initials and tell me where you're
from. 5) Send it to me at: SuccessStories@doubleyourdating.com
(c) 2002-2006 David DeAngelo, All Rights Reserved. By
accepting and reading this article you agree that: You understand this to be an opinion and not professional
advice, it is only to be used for personal entertainment purposes, you are solely responsible for any use of the ideas, concepts, and content and will hold David DeAngelo harmless.
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